first, please take my friends test. scroolll down.


hi, i feel like having a 2am breakdown. yay me.

i feel like such an idiot. everyone else seems to have something they're really good at, and they're getting known for it and accomplishing things. Yes, blahblah I know I have my own special talents deep inside big fucking yay, but everyone is DOING SOMETHING WITH THEMSELVES.

I never fucking stuck to anything. I gave up ballet (which i actually loved alot but was too damn lazy and now... NOT 100 pounds and under so obviously i can't go back to that), I gave up piano, I gave up guitar, I don't even practise my fucking drums every week.

and I'm too scared to go take some drama class on my own.

can't even do any fucking CIP.

I always wanted to be one of those whee-creepy-perfect musical theatre-straight As-perfectly healthy-overachiever kids. Instead I'm wasting my damn life away in front of a computer writing things no one is ever going to see unless whoop-dee-doo I magically get myself published one day.

I always say I'm going to do something tomorrow, and then I put it off and two years later I'm sitting in a room without a lightbulb.

I'm happily spending all my time in the what-if world, while the real world pretty much just zooms by, sort of yeah-seeya-round-sucka fashion.

Maybe Xin Yi's right, academia should be my number 1 and I should just stop living inside the song already.

Music's just a series of pretty notes anyway right.