it's 12.40am. whoop de fucking dee. i'm going to forget my whole purity thing for this post because damn it, I really need to swear my fucking brains out. well here i fucking go, fucking posting my whole self-pitying crap for the world to see. I actually wrote a verbal diarrhoea poem today in LD called Just Because It's Self-Pity, Doesn't Mean It Isn't True. That was when my whole lovely mood started. I was feeling just tiddly before that, but boy did I feel great then.

today i started some fucktard story about a girl named wianna. what the hell, i know. I don't even like the name but it suited her. i need to write some fucking good prose for mentorship application which is on the GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING FOURTH OF JULY. THAT IS UMMM TOMORROW. Why the FUCK did i put everything off so long? I HAD TWO FUCKING MONTHS. I EXPECT MYSELF TO FUCK EVERYTHING UP BUT NOT THIS. I DON'T HAVE ANY GODDAMN TIME LEFT. This is more important than everything else yet I still go and fuck it the hell up. Admittedly I produced some good poetry but it's not anywhere near as good as my prose is yet I can't crank anything out. The whole Wianna fiasco is flowing well enough but IT'S NOT GOING TO GET ME IN. I NEED TO WRITE SOMETHING FUCKING PROFOUND. Gair, where are you?

moving on to MORE self-loathing.I have to write the fucking argumentative essay tomorrow. I HATE THAT SHIT. ITS SO STUPID GOD. Not to mention, I just know that _____ WILL score just LOVELY marks for it while i score a nineteen or something, goddamn. Then I'm left feeling like I'm not a fucking writer at all, and just a girl in a completely shitty school even stupider than the bitches around her. TBQMFH, I feel like I'm better than a lot of people. It sounds totally bad but whatever. I have this secret superiority complex. But then life decides that just to spite me, 57301837490 people will be sent along to steal whatever I'm good at.

I'm already fucking tired of ranting. What-freaking-ever.

Umm I think this post was the result of not having bitched to Cashie in like years. Bitch I can't live without you. I am going apeshit. Fucking facepalm my life.