O hay Dylan Sprouse. Long time no see.

Unf.

So I've got this totally bitchin ulcer and I don't mean that in like a omg-this-wave-is-ttly-bitchin way but in like a FML way. There is nothing quite like the dull throb of a three day old ulcer, which pulsates when you attempt to relax your jaw, and constantly evokes a feeling aiken akin to a thick needle boring through your cheek.

I cut my hair today. It's all shoulder lengthy now!


Oh okay I HAZ NEWS.

WE'RE EXPECTING.

Oh yes. My white cat is mcpreggers and I'mma ttly wishing the babies will be aryan.


Also, there is this amazing ... Idk know what you would call it but it looks vaguely like cake, comes with ice cream, a layer of fudge, a layer of caramelnougatidk and a layer of chocolate. and then maltesers on top. Why hello 8th wonder of the world. Pyramids? Pfft I say.


And I'm prolly like the last person on this Earth to ever read 1984. I was pleasantly surprised. Damn, George. I DIDN'T THINK UR DYSTOPIC NIGHTMARE WOULD BE QUITE SO HOT.

Fucking foxy.


Hay homework. You wish I were doing you.