I want so badly for someone to find me.

WILL SOMEONE READ THIS AND SAVE ME??

I hate feeling alone and stuck in limbo between half dead and surviving.

You don't know how badly I want to be dead.

You don't know how badly I want to be alive.

I am more at risk of suicide than anyone I know. But does anyone else see?

No. My outside is perfect, I am adaptable and perfect. Inside I am guilty of feeling too much and hoping to die. If I died they'd be sorry wouldn't they?

I don't hurt myself externally (mostly) so the worst part is that every spark of pain is internal. Aching. Wearing me away. Eroding all that I am and leaving me emptier than a glass of nothing.

I guess some things never change. Five years and sometimes I am the same as always.