If anything, it only made the love affair stronger.

God's laughing at me right now, isn't he.

I have to go back to real life now. And it's going to seem all the worse because just for those few hours, EVERYTHING WAS OKAY. I felt like the world's best fuckup and I loved living and all that mattered was the music and it was so loud it pounded in my chest and through my head and they just stood there giving us everything.

I can't listen to any mcr song without crying now, or at least seriously having to block the tears. But it's all I can listen to. I can't even listen to mika anymore.

I'm sorry, I just can't do it anymore. I don't care about people and your stupid little problems and whatever bitchy things you're going to say or whatever shit you're whining about because it'll never compare to this.

My Chemical Romance, you are my everything.


Okay I'll stop whining and tell you about the concert. Pictures at the very end, and I have video if you want it. This is gonna be really long, jsyk. I want to remember every detail. It's more for me than you, really.

The meeting. Okay.

Well, there was only one door and we were all lined up against the walls and we spazzed everytime the door opened. I dropped my shit alot. Then they finally came in and frank was carrying a yellow (open) umbrella. so rad. then i forgot my birthday, basically. then they sat down -no bob :(- and then it started.

While I waited, I noticed Gerard looked really PMS-ey and somewhat pissed. Like he hated meet and greets. I don't care though, they've been on tour a long time and he's stressed. I hope he gets back to his old self.

I was the first one out of the second batch (each batch 10 people). Fuck I was so nervous. Started off with frank on the right side. I spazzed.

Frank: Hi
Me: Um... hehehe... hi
-handshake AHH-
Frank's marker is out and ready to sign stuff.
-Me fumbles with stuff-
Me: Uh, I have something for you, hehehe... -hands him tiny shitty drawing off him with a jetpack guitar-
Frank is amused and prolly laughing at the "this is a jetpack guitar and not breaking wind as it looks like :)"
Frank: Aw thank you... jet pack guitar... I'm gonna have to develop that... get me one of those!
Me: -smiles ridiculously- thank you -hands him purple construction paper T_T i know-
Frank: Sign here guys? -referring to the paper-
Me: -Nods- Yeah... thank you

Mikey was next. Shit that man is beautiful. Pictures will never do him any justice, he is insane gorgeous. I SEE WHY PEOPLE ARE IN LOVE WITH HIM NOW. I GET IT. I REALLY DO.

-handshake (nice arms, mikey. all toned) and hi's-
-hands him picture of him with x ray vision and sitting in a catmobile-
-Mikey looks at it and puts on random southern accent-: Cat-mow-beel... awl riiight...
Me: Hehehe in honour of bunny marie way...
Mikey: thanks :D -blinding smile-

He signs it and i move onto ray with whom my encounter was the shortest.

I shake ray's hand. He has rly hairy arms. I grin and stare at his fro unconsciously and then give him my drawinf of him on a fro cloud and closing his eyes in holy fro prayer. Ray signs my paper. I think I said I'm marie to him. or to mikey. or both. well, one of them said "hi marie."

I unconsciously am already moving closer to gee as i steal looks at bored gee LOL.

Ray: Thanks!
Me: I'm sorry i can't draw fros. I apologise.
Ray: Naw that's alright -peers at drawing-

Gee. Who is like looking around the room like a squinty shifty eyes emoticon. He's amazingly vampire beautiful. And in real life his eyes are just so intense. and they just sparkle too, no matter how bored he looks. he could burn through metal with that stare. and his skin is yes, very very pale.

-after handshakes and my spasmodic laughter and saying hi-
Me:HI. ... HI. HERE I DREWTHISFORYOUCUZIKNEWYOUGUYSLIKESUPERHEROES!!!!
Gee: Oh. Cool.
Me: THISISGROUPLETTER... FOR YOU GUYS... MISS BOB! -randomly pumps fists into the air- horrible facepalm moment.
Gee: Oh okay thanks. (well it sounded more like "aw okay thaankya"
Me: um... sorry. I know this is super random. but. um. um. WOULDYOUSAYIPODFORME?
Gee: um, alright. aye-pahd.
me: THANK Y- gets ushered away by guard.

The tall dude then ushers me to the corner so "he can fit ten people there". I meanwhile collpse against the wall and fan myself and spazz. and get annoyed how gee didn't even write his name just "Thanks! XOXO"

Then we took a picture in our batch of ten with the guys. I stood just A FEW INCHES away from ray toros loverly hair. I admit I stared at all the tops of their heads. Frank's hair is normal, if a little sparse, mikey has rly flat pantene-esque hair, ray's is godlike and bouncy and insane ringlets :D and gee's is in serious need of a wash/brush session. It's also a little sparse like frank's.

Overall, they were amazing. I mean yea, the gerard rumours are true, but after that night I love them ALL infinity as much. and heck I fulfilled my ipod dream. I never thought i'd actually have the balls to do it.


Now onto the performance.


There were condom balloons.

After a fuck long wait, they began with This Is How I Disappear. I had a feeling they'd begin with it. I lost my hearing within that song but didn't care. The mosh pit was fucking scary. Couldn't breathe, people were fainting and vomiting, and the guy next to me was drunk, and the girls a row down complained of a guy perving on them and molesting them.

They played (not in order): Give Em Hell, Kid (my favourite revenge song, it makes me feel like i can just go be young and reckless), I'm Not Okay, I Don't Love You (I was singing along and I forgot the title, yes I was that excited), Helena, Prison (I want the boys to take off their shirts and swing em round like this! -swings random white towel from wiping his face- I think some guys stripped too excitedly HAHA but I didn't see any, sad to say.), Welcome To The Black Parade (we all sang like motherfuckers!), Desert Song, something random to show off Gee's voice with a piano, Sleep, Dead!, Teenagers -MOSH!!!-, Mama, House Of Wolves (one of my favourite tbp songs!), Cancer, Cemetery Drive, and ended off with an amazing Famous Last Words.

Somewhere in there gee managed to flash his pink panties three times and I rolled my eyes up in orgasm. And he licked his hand. No frerard action though. and his voice got all freaky and reminded me of what I do with my own voice sometimes O_O during Mama. like "a surprise party? for me? you shouldn't have..." or was that at the beginning? It's all a blur... and ray and gee smoked at the side during the break. at least gee looked happy then...

I thought my moshing capacity was only like 20 minutes, I was wrong. I moshed the hell out of myself and the people behind me, even when they stopped. Nausea? Nobody gives a fuck!

When it ended, I was so disoriented. I couldn't hear anything and I kept losing Sharon and Cassie -who lost her shit in the pit. I'm sorry i was so unhelpful :(-

bought a shirt and leon found me thurr. so he bought one and after walking out i remembered nadia and ran back to get her a shirt tuu.

i love the smell of the shirt. I want the smell to stay there forever :'(

went to eat with leon then he dropped me home after getting annoyed by my severe bopping -IT'S A LIE- and singing mcr in the car.


Gee had so many inspirational quotes. :'(

I'm all for starting a band, gee.

I love you guys so much. I hope you read my letter. Gee, don't chuck it. As I said in my letter: live your lives first and foremost, because you don't owe us fans anything. In fact, you've given us more than enough. i can't live without your music. thank you for what you've given me. this is barely a footnote in fan letters, but it's all i can do to give back.


Okay. Picture and video time. I warn you, the sound be shit.



















<-- random piano.
<-- Gee showin off dem vocals.
<-- Teenagers babeh! surprisingly good for my phone, sound and visual. SHAKE IT GEE. it jumps in the middle cuz i paused it halfway.
<-- Frightening screaming from fans and the beginning of sleep.
<-- more of sleep.
<-- No idea what this even is, but lots of great mikey shaking it footage. LOL.
<-- Cancer
<-- I'm pretty sure the first loud shrill rabid scream you hear is me. -AHHHEEEEEE- Anyway, Desert Song.
<-- FLW BABEHH
<-- MORE FLW! and some of gee touching his ass.
<-- ENDING OF THE CONCERT :'( x infinity
<-- Wtf?
<-- Randomly videoing the awesome boxes with the MCR stamped on the side. Result of post-concert confusion.



And that concludes it.

My first ever MCR concert.

Not my last by a long shot.


I'll never forget.