I am not crazy. I don't want to study alone today. I don't want to be alone ever anymore. If I am still on the honour roll why do I feel like shit? Why the fuck must I feel like shit every day? What the fuck is this? What happened to the person who could go home every day and study for six hours for fucking O levels and now that things are getting tighter and more important I am just losing it completely? I haven't even signed up for my SATs what the fuck. Do I even want to leave right after A Levels? Do I want to try my hand at business, or working for my mom, or writing a novel, what??

For the first time in my life I do not know what I want. It has always been "let's go live fairytale lives in ny" but now I just do not want to work towards well anything. No matter how closely I follow the schedule, I don't want what's at the end.

Omg what is this realizing that life has no meaning and going certifiably insane

I think this is why I feel so sorry for Demi Lovato