Bill beckett knows what I'm thinking, how?

Subjects are thrown around the room
Looking for the ones that got away
I'm feeling the soft anticipation
Another confrontation I won't make
But how do we do it
We turned into something else entirely
We fake it
But I wanted it so desperately to be real

Run, run, holding on to some pieces that you left behind
Hold now, as I walk away, you're the one that finds me out
Run from the only thing left that I hold close

I'll be letting you in
You've got the feeling you've been followed under your skin
It will be weighing on your shoulder, believe it.
If I could express it in a different dialect or in a delicate way
I'd capture the phrases inside the cage beneath my chest
And keep it locked for days
I wanted you so desperately to believe me

Run, run, why are you running from another conversation?
Someone that I've been planning on, you're the one that finds me out.
There's nowhere, now I found you, that I won't go.

I'm always letting you in.
You've got the feeling you've been followed under your skin.
It will be weighing on your shoulder.
You've got that seed in you.
You've got that seed in you.

Run, run, what are you running from?
Let all your small steps expose your secrets.
You don't have to speak for me to believe it.
But what do you mean?

Shaken and faint, you've got the feeling
you've been followed under your skin.
It will be weighing on your shoulder.

Are you listening to anything I've said?

Shaken and faint, it was the hardest thing to swallow.
Pretending you don't miss me.

While letting you in, I'll be thinking about tomorrow.
And every time we cross those lines.
You've got that seed in you.

Oh no, as I walk away, everyone had found me out.


I love Cassandra Sim Hui Zhen. SOULMATEZXZ!

IN THE EYES OF A FANGIRL...

just watched the wedding date for the 100000th time. It's the cutest thing ever, like a fictionpress story come to life.

Just did some RAAAAD decorating for halloween. IF IT'S UP TO ME, YOU'LL RSVP!

i have helena. THAT'S ALL I'M GOING TO SAY.

Cathay 2nd November= FREE PASSES TO MCR= Yes sort of humiliating myself by interacting with mediacorp shitfaces= Killing Shan Wee.

I'mma be gerard I think.

But I found RAAAD frank gloves.

MY BROTHER LIKES COBRA STARSHIP, LOL. HE CAN DO FANGS UP! And I told him i can ttly rap to SOAP. (LOL AT THE ABBREVIATION.)

Fuck I'm so excited!

HONESTLY?

I CAN'T WAIT TO MOVE OUT.

MOM, YOU TAKE UP TOO MUCH OF MY FUCKING SANITY.

Okay, my mother needs to be sent to woodbridge NOW. I swear, she's motherfucking crazy. Who the fuck dropped her on her head as a child?!!?!?

AS IF LIFE WASN'T BAD ENOUGH.

1) "OH MY GOD YOU GOT 15? -SOUNDS LIKE SHE WILL CRY- YOU SHOULD BE TOPPING YOUR LEVEL!!!!! WHATS WRONG WITH YOUUU OMG YOU DID SO BADLY YOU NEED TO IMPROVE YOU ONLY GOT 78 FOR ENGLISH HOW CAN YOU? AND HOW CAN YOU ONLY GET A B3 FOR CHINESE I THOUGHT YOURE GOOD AT CHINESE... IM SO DISAPPOINTED. YOU DID SO MUCH BETTER BEFORE... WAIT OH MY FUCKING GOD WHAT THE HEL IS WRONG WITH YOUR LIT!!!!"

2) I cry in the bathroom because life is fucking shit.

3) Bangs down my door.

4) I blast LOTMS.

5) She switches off the electricity. I naturally have to come out.

6) Bitch drags me by my hair and lectures me on "NOT TO PUSH THE BLAME ON ME YOU NEED TO TAKE -fucktard LAUGHS- FOR OUR OWN ACTIONS!" "THIS IS SINGAPORE YOU WILL GET NOWHERE WITH YOUR GRADES! THEN YOU GO HOWLING IN THE BATHROOMS FOR ALL THE NEIGHBOURS TO HEAR!!!"

7) -thinks- Uh, sorry. you only triggered it. And I do blame myself. -actually remains silent- "ANSWER ME!" "...there's nothing to say." "DON'T LIE TO ME, DAMNIT."

8) She says meaningless shit and says I behave like a child when I won't give her a motherfucking hug. She then says that I cannot blast mcr and or watch tv. to top it off, she remarks about the current bad feng shui of my room, as if I don't think it's bogus fuck.

9) I decide to committ suicide after mcr.

10) I may kill her before I go.


So please, if you have a problem with me, just take it out on my mother.

Maria Elena Santiago.

I'm not kidding, this was someone's name. And she inspired some song. The Smithereen's Maria Elena.


... There was also one sung by Michael Buble. IRONY.

If anyone calls me Maria, though, expect a big slap on the face.

I know I'm named after some song but I can't remember the tune. I think it's the Spanish song. Also that "Marieeeee the dawn is breeeaaaaaking" song.


I think all this talk of my own name is thanks to justine. ELENA! ELENA! ELENA! Yeah, bitch, it won't say your name!


Ugh my mom was especially psycho today. I was reorganising my new room, it still doesn't feel like me yet, really, then she came in and spazzed and undid all my FUCKING NICE shelf work and was all "NOOOOOO YOU CAN'T MOVE MY THINGSSSSSS" and was all "OMG! WHERE'S -unknown title- BOOK? I STOLE IT FROM FAIRFIELD!!!!! WHAT DID YOU DOOOOOO WITH IT?"
me: I haven't even moved any books yet. I ONLY MOVED CDS!!!!!!
mom: NOOOOOOOOO YOU MOVED IT WHAT DID YOU DO WITH IT YOU LOST IT -CRIES- I DONT LOVE YOU ANYMORE

she was whining at the top of her bloody voice. I wanted to slap her. and or SWEAR LOUDLY. and then turning my room into a mini black parade hovel...

and then i find the damn book on some other shelf i haven't even fucken looked at and she goes "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU MOVED MY THINGS I HATE YOU!!"

she cried for five retarded minutes. i was just standing there going, what the fuck? and excuse me, she hasn't set foot in this room for x1000 years.

then i couldn't find my three cheers cd and wanted to die. so i put on lotms and died to that instead. attempted to cry the shittiness of life out.

God hates me.


You'll be next.

Tomorrow.

All About Me Survey Take This Survey at Quizopolis.com I Am Marie. The human, not the aristocat. I Want Love, happiness, music, success, friendship. I Have Wonderful friends, but not THE friend, you know? I get most of the material things I want, but I'd trade it all. I Wish I could be less self conscious. I could fly. I could blow things up with my hands. I Hate Roller coasters, uncomfortable social situations I Fear drowning, falling, failure, loss. I Hear song. all the time, on my internal iPod. and at the moment, the sounds of unfabulous. gross. I Search for special people I have something in common with. people I can talk to without awkward silences. I Wonder if there's anything better or bigger than life. if i can be everything. I Regret I Love music, writing, friends, the people I admire, family (sometimes, anyway) I Ache of loneliness. sorry that sounds so emopussied. I Always break out into song, whistle, scribble down random things. I Usually whats the difference from the above? I Am Not confident, happy, what i want to be. I Dance inside the song. I Sing the song in my heart... ALL DAY, EVERY DAY! BAHAHA. I Never make the first move. I Rarely ... eat vegetables? I Cry love, cry peace, cry beautiful... YEAH HILARY DUFF SONG. I Am Not Always hyper. I Lose everything. my mind, my books, my cds. I'm Confused about life. I Need help. medication. a life. I Should go get one. Take This Survey at Quizopolis.com

Soundtrack to your life Take This Survey at Quizopolis.com when youre lonely Erase by Mika, Mandy Moore, MCR in general, When Somebody Loved Me by Jordan Pruitt (even though i find her really annoying, she sings it beautifully). GAH there are just many. when youre happy Love Today!!! It's euphoria. Mika in general, Scissor Sisters, Disney, Guilty Pleasure by Cobra Starship, Electric Light Orchestra when youre bouncy Love Today again. basically all the same as listed... OH and christmas carols. when youre feelin country That Taylor Swift song called Tim McGraw, courtesy of Nadia. Wow, confusing eh? Also Walkin After Midnight, um... Dang no country songs come to mind at the moment. I do like it actually. But my mind's a blank. when youre depressed same as my lonely soundtrack, without the mandy moore. when youre hatin MCR. I'm Not Okay, and just everything. when youre lookin good well, rare as that is... uh... Cobra Starship and Britney Spears. when youre goin out the only time I can look good is when I'm going out so... yeah. above. when youre hookin up i take this to mean horny. um. The Church Of Hot Addiction... These Boots Are Made For Walkin? HAHAHA. when youre gettin married the wedding song? uh... Probably get married to Mika or MCR... AS IN SONGWISE, NOT TO... YEAH. when youre in love Mandy Moore. when you're mad same as hatin, playaaaa hataa! when someone passes away Helena! MCR. when youre mad didn't we go over this? when youre on the run! Night Drive by AAR, and Cobra's Send My Love To The Dancefloor, I'll See You In Hell. That was hell to type. when youre hurtin same as lonely, depressed. when youre breakin up and dont care MY INTERPRETATION!!! AHHH PERFECT FOR IT! when you get your heart broken DUDE. REPETITION. when you get cheated on that's never happened, but I'd probably be Mika-ing. or MCR-ing. I love my M-boyz, WORD! when you cheated...if you have um... my prerogative? Or depends on if I'm guilty or not... but I wouldn't do it, so why are we having this conversation. when youre by yourself depends on how I feel. when youre cruisin town Church of hot addiction, Guilty Pleasure... Lotsa cobrahh lurbzxz. and AAR. and MCR. and mika. YOU GET THE DAMN POINT. Take This Survey at Quizopolis.com

OH MY FUCKING GOD I HAVE NEVER SPAZZED SO HARD IN MY LIFE THE MCR TICKETS ARE OUT OKAY OH MY FUCKING GOD 'M SO EXCITED I'VE DEVELOPED A STOMACHACHE NO SLEEP FOR ME TONIGHT OH MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M ACTUALLY WEEPING LIKE SOME IDIOT

OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm fickle and yes, I still would tap chris (mclovin) SO HARD but after watching this is ivy league's video for london bridges (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFHn11JfSN0&NR=1)

i can safely say that ryland blackinton has my heart. baaaaahhhh WHY ARE ALL THE BEST MEN SO MUCH OLDER AND SO TALENTED AND HALFWAY ACROSS THE WORLD? WHY? WHY? i'm not sure who he reminds me of. I SWEAR HE REMINDS ME OF SOMEONE IN THAT VIDEO DAMNIT. I CAN'T PUT MY FINGER ON IT.

I'm so going to name my middle son ryland. i hope he grows up to be as -looks up- TALL as ryland

i'm not sure I could choose between guy ripley and ryland. guy ripley maybe. but i don't know. WELL I CAN'T ANYWAY. so yeah. but frankly ryland LOOKS british. so does v...v...vic-TORIA. but who cares about that woof woof woof meow chick. goddamn her for making that gizmo song. and that notintown theme song. hate that ho.

78 for english. it's all right. i'm not sure if unsaid english teacher will still come at me with a chainsaw for not scoring a high distinction. curse the other teachers for giving such generous marks to other classes. do some people really deserve a 36?


anyhoo. I manually transcribed the lyrics for london bridges. no one else has.

listen to the lovely sound of london radio
surround sound stereo with me
you can feel the rhythm in your bones

can you hear the lovely sound of london radio
surround sound stereo with me
keep it with you everywhere you go

never again never again
i'll never feel this way again
never again never again
i will not break my vow again

i can't comprehend me without you

hang around for one more song
the night is younger than we are
i will lift you up when you fall down
times like this i reminisce on
london radio, surround sound stereo
with you

london bridge is falling down.


i shall attempt to change my blogskin now. if you find yourself looking at ryland's/mclovin's face, then i've already done it.

it's official.

I have the hots for mclovin.

okay, i haven't studied one ounce of geography, don't know fuck about world continents, map reading or pollution, it is 11.34pm and i'm positive of failure. maybe i'll pass, but i equate failure with anything less than an A, which is surely not coming my way.

why do i procrastinate like this? why do i not have any motivation, WHY AM I BLOGGING NOW, bumming out to electric light orchestra and staring blindly at a stack of math papers i organised but HAVENT ACTUALLY READ!!!!

maybe I actually will somehow miraculously do well, what with my amazing talent for completely bullshitting during exams, EXHIBIT A, THE HISTORY SA1. but somehow, I GET THE FEELING THAT I WON'T BE SO LUCKY NOW.

my eye itches.

why do a walk to remember and liar liar come on, just as i plan to study, huh? as if i'm not weak enough, i need to be thrown these movies? WHICH I AM A GODDAMN SUCKER FOR?

WHAT THE MOTHERFUCK IS MY PROBLEM?????? SERIOUSLY!!!!!! great, i now have one of those stress stomachaches, which come along so often i have to pop around three aleve pills a day, which makes me look like a fucking drug addict.

go screw myself? oh i did that already.

well, be happy, A, K, A and F's of the world, because you can just go snatch away my class position and be happy about it.


by the way? MY BLOGSKIN IS SO IRRITATING, I CAN'T FOR THE LIFE OF ME WAIT TO CHANGE IT.

Okay, VERY RARELY WILL YOU CATCH ME IN SUCH A HAPPY, HIGH, NEON MOOD.

YEAH I SAID NEON.

and all the credit goes to ... XAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANAAAAADUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!

I don't care what the fuck you say. I don't think this movie was bad. I love ONJ, the soundtrack is PHENOMENAL, ELECTRIC LIGHT ORCHESTRA ALL THE WAYYYYYYYYYY. AND THE STORYLINE IS CUTE. WHATEVER. YES, I DON'T LIKE MICHAEL BECK EITHER, BUT HE SO AWFUL THAT YOU CAN'T SIT THROUGH IT RIGHT?

IT'S A LOVELY, IMAGINATIVE MUSICAL THAT SPIRALS YOU TO ANOTHER PLACE AND TIME... CAN I JUST SAY AGAIN THAT THIS IS THE BEST SOUNDTRACK EVER? THIS TOPS HAIRSPRAY, GREASE... ALL OF IT!

JUST TAKE THE SONG "DANCIN" FOR EXAMPLE. TWO SONGS OF UTTERLY DIFFERENT GENRES MELDED TOGETHER LIKE PUZZLE PIECES, FITTING PERFECTLY. IT'S CALLED GEENIUS!

NEONEONEONEONEONEON!!!!!!

IT IS, TO PUT IT SIMPLY, MAGIC. YES, PUN TOTALLY INTENDED.

Today on the train, i was bopping to hairspray and I wished with all my heart that everyone would start singing and dancing and life would just really be the musical i always wanted.

SO, TO WHOEVER EVEN READ THIS FAR, IF YOU OUTLIVE ME, I EXPECT A BLOODY MUSICAL WHERE YOU ALL SING AND DANCE. GERARD MAY CONDUCT YOU, AS HE IS IMMORTAL.



EVERYBODY EVERYWHERE IS GONNA FEEL TONIGHT.