I graduated from Stanford today.

Bittersweet.

I'm going miss everything and everyone so much. Especially James. HOW CAN YOU LEAVE US, NICEST MAN EVER TO WALK THE PLANET?



I'm going to treasure this for the rest of my life.

I'm depressed, can't do anything about it. All good things come to end?

James needs a fansite.

I emceed. For it, got a stanford mug which I will treasure forever for undergoing trauma. Read my book poem which was a little lame. I miss the beautiful library and the courtyard and the fountains.

Everything.


I got an edusave scholarship. I couldn't believe it. I saw it on the table and thought it was for my brother and i was like joking "its actually for me" and then i looked at it and then i saw it actually WAS for me and i fucking freaked out. I just kept repeating "It has my name on it" and "But the top 10%!" "Yeah, not me! I don't get these things!"


Cassandra Sim Hui Zhen, I love you eternally. YOU, keep me alive. Nobody without the heart of a saint could listen to all my shit and complaining and randomness and still love me.



How much do you love me, how much do you care? How much do you need me, when I'm not there? How much do you love me, how much do you care? How much do you miss me, when I'm not there?

Last Christmas
You gave me a sock
But the very next day, I threw it away
This year, I'm so cold in here
I really need that sock back.

Now I found a warm sock I'll never toss it again!



I felt like posting that, sue me.

someone wrote this: Which is odd because if I had to describe him, it would go something like this: A Freddy Mercury impersonating teen practicing a Sweedish pop song for his high school drama-club's talent show which is themed after 1970's childrens' television programming.

All I have to say is. LOL.



I CAN'T WAIT. IT'S SO ZOMG 80s POP. IT MAKES ME FEEL SAPPY INSIDE. I NEED TO DANCE MADLY NOW.


I have made a crucial decision.

I have decided to not laugh at harry potter fans any longer. I'm really not going to pick up a book and yell wingardium leviosa or anything, not to mention every movie after the third one made me O_O at the stupidity but I shall not laugh at you. -cough-JKROWLINGISSATAN-cough-

I changed my mind partly due to the amusing parodies that harry potter exposes itself to. Would you care to read Send My Love To The Potions Dungeon, I'll See You In Detention (Hey Prof. Snape) cuz i bet you would. It's ridiculously fun writing these.

Hey Professor Snape
You gotta stop perving on Draco
We're gonna mix more than potions tonight
We're gonna -cough- make magic all night.

Or perhaps Snapes on a ... um... frame(?!) will work out for you.

HOHOHO.

So kiss Lily goodbye
Honey I'm gonna take Potter alive.

HAHAHAHA this is criminally fun.


I'm supposed to write something mentally disturbed for tomorrow's [ LAST OMG. :'( ] assignment. MUST. GET. JAMES'. EMAIL.

should I be nervous for emceeing without a script. fuck.


TOODLYS.

This is what creams are made of.

I'm sorry. That sentence was graphic.



Zomg I'm goiong to hxc rape him. We can marry first, though. THAT'S TOTALLY FINE. Like him. UH...

God he's phenomenal onstage. -cough-andeverywhereelse-cough- Dude beth ditto gtfo! Waving that piece of paper around wearing those ridiculous sunglasses while singing out of tune harmonies.

He's like screaming orgasmically and it's higher than the guitar riff. -DIES A PANTING DEATH-

Okay. I need to get this out very badly. Mika has the PERFECT male physique. REALLY. I'M TALKING PERFECT. Best tush: Check. Rippling abs: Check. Fulfills my skinny-boy fetish: UH HUH CHECK BABY. And can we even get started on the hair? And the face? Like hello. MALE MODEL RIGHT THURR. And nice height. I'm not going to say package, cuz that's just wrong.

... Even though yes, it's fulfilled.

HELLO GOOSEBUMPS!


I'm the emcee for my Stanford ceremony. Fuck, it's almost over. ='(


I still hate the secret society btw. Fuckers.

Do you ever get the feeling, that when you're spilling your guts out to someone that they're not really listening at all, but are just randomly rambling in a pretentious way that actually makes no sense when you string all the words together, and they're just doing it because they want to feel smart when in reality they know no shit?

I get that feeling ALL the time.

Also, when people just randomly put themselves down, don't you get the feeling that they're just fishing for compliments, and want to extract a little guilt from you to make themselves feel better?

I get that feeling ALL the time.

Zomg, i hate the human race.


I've been doing lots of chinese astrology compatibility, and I've discovered something that would fuel a great many slash fantasies, but not mine, because I think it's wrong. like, really wrong. HORRIBLY WRONG. It's not right.

Gabe and Mika. Supposedly a perfect match. I'll just go ahead and die now. CASHIE, THIS BE YOUR FAULT. YOU HARLOT.

The physical magnetism between this man and woman is exception-ally strong, with romance and tenderness as its dominant notes. The partners' sex life will be totally uninhibited, and each instance of their intimacy will bear the mark of a harmoniously blended delight.

Gabe: The Sheep has a luxurious side that delights in indulging a lover's every wish.
Mika: The Pig loves creature comforts: fine food, lovemaking, sleeping in a deliciously soft bed.

I'm going to go put my cobra cd FAR, FAR away from my mika one now.

Me and Mika: Roosters need softening. What is softer than a cushy squishy Pig person? Rooster protects Pig against bad habit of saying Oui oui oui all the way home. Brilliant sex. Good food. Quality lifestyle. Kids? Have as many as you can send to college. <-- I lmaoed SO HARD at this. does half of it even make sense?! OUI OUI? FRENCH PIG?

Snake men have exceptional sexual stamina: Note to self, Liam and Gerard.

My death meter: JUL 23 2069, 22520 days.


I've decided that Cassie shall godparent my kids. If you want to share, you'd better ask now and hope to God that you still know me in -undisclosed- years.


LALALALALALALALA. I finished writing my eight year old story. This kid is mega rad. SHE'S A SUPER RADICAL PIRATE CAPTAIN! I love it.

Word of the day: Yahtzee.

Quote of the day: the leprechauns made me do it! -Marie's shirt.


saw enchanted today with naaaaaaadia! JUST LOOK FOR THE LADEH IN THE GREEN SHURT! but yeah it was um one big squee with insane pretty clothes and james marsden -EATS- and amusing things and a chipmunk and tons of hilarious disney in-jokes. dude idina menzels role was like pointless. they shouldve at least let her sing.

queen is HXC RAPING MY MIND. hxc raping.

okay i need to get this out this out of my system so scroll past if you don't want spike/mika-related ranting.

first of all. season 6 made me dislike buffy the character. first she's all weak and pouty, then she uses spike and looks down on him and crap, then uses him again, and is all self pity and shit. mostly i hate how she treats spike. why can't she see that spike really does love her while he's just her bloody sex toy. she's so fucking self centred in this season. while i adore spuffy love, it's mostly just because of spike. AND THEN SHE GOES AND SAYS "WHY DO I LET HIM DO THOSE THINGS TO ME" as fucking if. whatever! God don't cry about it. I'M SO ANNOYED. RAWR. okay face it, it all went downhill after the crazy building sex.


I think mika sounds better in french than a frenchman does. ITS LIKE MELTING BUTTER. RAWR. AUXXXX CHAMPS ELYSEEEEES. NUMMY!
mika's so innocent looking. he shouldn't be raped... >_> <_<

I am going to miss stanford so bloody much. Okay the class was kinda quiet but the instructor is so rad. He is so happy and smiley and really encourages you do your own thing and I love the discussion thing.


~~~~~~~~~~~

people need to stop making fools out of themselves when the ship has sailed.

HELLO. I AM EIGHT YEARS OLD.


p.s. this be goin out to CHLAMIDIYAAAA: MY GROO... TALKIN BOUT MY GROO... MY GROO! OOOOOH!

No!

i refuse to tolerate such assaults on my subconscious.

It's wrong.

so wrong.

totally immoral.

and no more rewinding the hot sex scenes and the shirtless scenes.

gasp. NOOOO BUFFY why. spikeisn'tbeneathanyone, except in a sexual sense! FUCK. I HATE IT WHEN THE HOT BOY CRIES.

rawrrrrr.


Anyyyyyway. Stanford is going really well, people randomly started socialising today. Man people are weird. Nanyang girls have been outed as tree-huggers, they even fucking have ENVIRONMENT MONITORS, WTF?!

but I've written some pieces that surprised me. I feel some semblance of creativity again. This came at exactly the right time, i felt like all my stories were beginning to sound the same and fucking annoying. and it's so wonderful getting actual feedback. on the spot too.

HAHA and the exquisite corpse games are hilarious. the killing of millions of bacterial organisms is genocide!

srsly everyone should play this.

and constraints are good too. I mean someone like me usually loathes that word but it really helped.

RAWR SO MUCH FUN. its like creative writing for six hours a day.


Okay so people want to read things. So uh. Here goes...

I'm Marie and I'm listening to the piano version of way i are (which makes me feel very worthless)... and reading nadia's blog... and... wishing that there was a spike for me =(

I wrote something called conversations with the moon.

LOL.

i hate when the kids suck at putting together the shrine of the silver monkey.

Since nobody's actually online for me to tell this to, I've started a highly promising story based on you and you.

I really like it. It's the nicest beginning I've ever written. Personally speaking. It's just happy and unpretentious. And since I have actual people to base it off on, My Characters Don't Sound Ridiculous. I'm so unoriginal. BAH.

You have interesting personalities, what can I say.

I have no idea where it's headed though. I can't say I'm one for planning out stories.


Why isn't Joss Whedon more recognised for his absolute, honest-to-God BRILLIANCE?

For God's sakes, I'm going to reference that oh so popular book again.

I mean really. JW>JK Rowling ANY DAY. One has creativity and innovation, the other has lawsuits.

I just watched Restless from Buffy. Wow, is all I can say. The layers of the story, the deep references and metaphors, the BRILLIANT cinematography, just the overall richness of the entire episode was so wonderful and satisfying and refreshing. Honestly, that is the best episode of anything I've ever seen. (NOT COUNTING buffy the musical, because that's... a musical and I can't help loving those.)

It was one huge character study, and so amazingly symbolic, beautifully transitioned. Poetry. Pure poetry.

It was so different from anything I expected. I was thrilled and scared and thought-provoked and laughed my ass off at The Cheese Man.

Joss Whedon is a brilliant man. I am glad he walks the Earth. Season Three/Four/Five of Buffy are just PRIME. If you have not watched it, you are missing out on SO MUCH. This is far more than some pop culture icon, it's so intensely... rife with intelligence and beauty. The fact that this is disparaged and pushed aside simply because there's a pretty blonde girl on the cover is such a horrific, major loss, and not only because Sarah Michelle Gellar is a fantastic actress.

Restless>Entire fourth season. Granted, the individual episodes were amazing and so creative, but as a whole it was, like J.W. admitted, decidedly incoherent.

Still. There are reasons that there are entire THESISES written on this episode.


And to make a totally unrelated announcement, originally posted by Le Cashinator,

STI's are The New Scene...

And we're the new internet whorestars/superheroes! Youtube channel CaMashie Life, and Crackestine Industries (Tater-flavoured condoms, bith!) pwned by Marie Marfungle Maroobie "The Kangaroobie" Molluscum and Cassandra Carbungle Caboobie "The Cashinator" Chlamydia. That is spelled K-L-A...


And would people post the fucking quiz already?! Do I have to beg?!

Sheesh.


Nadia's musical orders are raping my mind. Especially HGB. Very squee-like.


I got my bike. Loves it. It's pretty black and pink and silver, with a basket and a radical green flashing light. =D


End of post.

Commencing...NOW!

Cashie is so hxc. We are hxc and oh so l337.

HXC.


IMMA DO A FAVOURITES QUIZ. CUZ I WANNA.


Favourite colour: Turquoise. second is probably royal purple...

Favourite season: Autumn and winter. Can't quite decide. I prefer snow but then the leaves are so pretty. I'm indecisive.

Favourite food: Katsu Don set ftw. Margherita pizza. Mashed potatoes.

Favourite place: Somewhereeeeee... NOT IN SINGAPORE... um... Somewhere with water nearby, prferably a European country, and sunlight filtering through the secluded trees and a swing =) that's all I ask for. I won't specify a country.

Favourite country: I'm making it hard for myself. Uh. Prolly England orrrrrr Spain orrrr USA.

Favourite book: The Heart Is Deceitful Above All Things, Cottonmouth Kisses. And the Pellinor series.

Favourite TV show: Boston Legal... Buffy...

Favourite solo artiste: Mika fsho!!!!

Favourite band: Too easy. MCRRRRR!

Favourite song: IDK. Don't ask me this. Love Today is one of them. HAHA.

Favourite movie: A Series Of Unfortunate Events (please stay tuned for what happened next... No.) and i can't remember the others. temporary mindfuck.

Favourite drink: McFizz (orange juice+sprite), apple juice, chocolate coke... hot chocolate.

Favourite animal: Cat fershure! Any type, big, small, wild, domestic. And unicorn. What can I say, I'm big on the mystica creatures. And maybe pikachu. Okay sorry.

Favourite number: 8 is my all time favourite number, I never knew why. I just love it.

Favourite TV character: Um... Alan Shore (BL). and maybe Spike (Buffy)... OH AND JUSTIN SUAREZ (ugly betty) FTW!

Favourite movie character: Baudelaire children. I'm so predictable.

Favourite instrument: Guitar and piano.

Favourite subject: Creative Writing!

Favourite website: Uh... FICTIONPRESS! =D and people's blogs. and Facebook...

Favourite pastime: Singing retardedly and writing =D

Favourite weather: Rain is the best thing in the world. And snow too!

Favourite actor: Liam Aiken. Shia. Sprouse boys. Lou Taylor Pucci. RYLAND BLACKINTON!!!!

Favourite actress: I don't know. Emily Browning.

Favourite ice-cream: Hazelnut, Marsha Marsha Marshmallow, Phish Food.

Favourite flower: Pink roses! And sometimes sunflowers =)

Favourite body part: >_> <_< Um... depends on who we're talking about. In general, eyes.

-DRUMROLL-

Favourite person in the entire history of the world: Cassandra (Caboobie Carbungle Chlamidya) Sim Hui Zhen is pwnage. CASSIE > ALL.


OKAY TIME FOR ANOTHER FUCK LONG QUIZ! YAYYYYYY ME!


----------------------GENERAL INFO----------------------
*Name on birth certificate: crossed out for privacy reasons. STFOMG.
*Nickname: Maroobie Marfungle Molluscum, Marmar, Maroo the Kangaroo (NOBODY ASK ABOUT THIS), Marister (Ahhh the good ole days...), and my mom embarrassingly calls me May. I do NOT know why. or Mei. I don't know which.
*Birthday: 2nd April, 1993 (90s BABEHH!)
*Color of eyes: Dark brown
*Hair: Medium brown. I seem to have random reddish highlights if you look closely. I still remember Qin Pei's "almond brown" theory. Nice but seemingly untrue.
*Shoe size: SO WHAT, SMALL FEET PWN OKAY?!?! I can squeeze into a four, but mostly 5 1/2. I can also wear a 7 with insoles! =D
*Brothers/Sisters: Brothaaa why did i even list this ever omg privacy. (do not say bahru... or plaza.)
*Who lives with you? Family.
*When is your bedtime? School nights, around 11-whenever my projects get done. Holidays/weekends... can go up to 7am.
*What town do you live in: Singapowe! Where we eat pigs brains and communicate by rice telepathy!
*Favorite Sport: To play: Ice skating... Does that count? and basketball.
To watch: Boring shit. I don't mind watching ice skating. Wow i sound like some ice-princess freak.
*Number of Tattoos: None.
*Number of Piercings: No excessive holes for me, thanks.
*Birthmarks? I don't really think I have any. Well I haven't seen any. Okay that doesn't sound right.

--------------DO YOU BELIEVE IN---------------------
*Yourself: At times...
*Your friends: The good ones -all the people with C names, especially! =D- are rad 24/7. Some grate my nerves occasionally.
*Santa Claus: Yeah. but I think he stops coming once you discover he doesn't come to you... Does that even make sense?
*Tooth Fairy: Not ever, I think. My mom used to put all my money there. But hey, anything's possible.
*Destiny/Fate: Definitely.
*UFO's: I've seen one before. No lie, I swear to God.
*Afterlife: Extreme belief in it. This can't be all there is.

-----------------FRIENDS AND LIFE--------------------
*Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend: Waiting. Waiting. Wishing.
*Like anyone? Maybe. Sort of. I do but I don't.
*Who have you known the longest of your friends: Nur. Jiyin. Shashi.
*Who is the loudest: Cashie. and Xin Yi, judging by pure volume. HAHA.
*Who is the weirdest: Nadia wins that award.
*Who do you go to for advice: Cat Ling is the ultimate advice-giver. HAHA. And Cashie too, but Cat could like be a counsellor. HAHA.
*Who do you cry with: Myself. I don't think I've ever cried in front of a friend before.
*What is the best feeling in the world: Feeling loved and accepted for what you are, general euphoria! Having fun, feeling young and reckless and connected.
*Worst feeling: Feeling like I've annoyed someone, or that I'm not good enough.

---------------THOUGHT-PROVOKING QUESTIONS-------------
*If you could build a house anywhere, where would it be? In the countryside, maybe on a hill, with a view of the sea and forest, and a lake nearby too. Idyllic.
*What is your favorite article of clothing? Well-worn tees, nice shoes. JUST COMFY THINGS.
*Favorite physical feature of the opposite sex? Eyes... Abs. there. I said it.
*Favorite nonphysical feature of the opposite sex? Intelligence, humour.
*The last CD you bought? I remember I bought alot at the same time... Santi, Cobra, ELO, Riot! and some other shtuff I think.
*Where's your least favorite place to be? Hospital, unhygienic places. I HATE OUTDOOR FOOD COURTS WITH A PASSION.
*Where's your favorite spot to be massaged? Feet and hands.
*What's most important? Strong in mind or strong in body? Mind, for sure.
*What's your favorite kitchen appliance? IMMA TOASTERPHILEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! And i like the electric can opener. WHEET!
*What's your favorite redneck appliance? I don't know any. CHAINSAW... TRACTOR...
*What makes you really angry? Superiority (especially unwarranted cases), lying, underestimating, not giving credit
*If you could play an instrument, what would it be? I miss my piano.
*Which do you prefer: sports car or SUV? Sports car... I love convertibles!
*If you could have one super power, what would it be? Flying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! x100000000000 bajillion!!!!!!
*Can you juggle? Somewhat. I can juggle without dropping every two seconds.
*Name one person you'd like to bring back from the past and talk to: Hmmm... My mind's a blank right now. Enid Blyton? Ugh I cant think.
*What's in the trunk of your car? I sadly have no car.
*Which do you prefer? A steak or a burger? Depends on how I'm feeling.

DO YOU HAVE...
Any Sisters? No =( cry for me.
Any Brothers? Yes. One.
Any Pets? Fish, terrapins, used to have many cats =(
A Disease? Yeah, I contracted an itch from Shan Wee.
A Pager? Ancient things.
A Personal Phone Number? Duh.
A Leather Jacket with Studs on It? Lame. No.
A Heroin Needle? Whatthefuck? Is this a trick question...
A Pool or Hot Tub? Hot tub right outside my room.
A Car? No. =((((

DESCRIBE YOUR...
Personality: Interesting. Random. Shy at times.
Driving: Mad skillz fsho! I totally crashed into that tree on purpose...
Car or One you want: Pink convertible. Don't even try to change my mind.
Room: Pretty neat, needs more me innit.
Shoes: Whimsical.
School: A place to doodle and congregate with fwiends to HIANG!
Bed: Soft and comfortable. MMM i love sleep...
Relationship with Your Parent(s): Freakshows. Violent. HAHA. My mom is a very open person, let's leave it at that.

COMPLETELY RANDOM QUESTIONS
Your name spelled backwards. Ee (HA!) Eiram <-- I sound like arabic royalty
Where were your parents born? Mom in Singapowe, Dad in Malaysia.
What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer? Guy Ripley pic from Cassie... and Pac The Man game.
What's your favorite restaurant? Hoshigaoka... Pasta Fresca... Shangri-La Lines...
Last time you swam in a pool? Before Cat left -BAWL-
Have you ever been in a school play? You're looking at a drama kid.
How many kids do you want? Like... Five or more. YAY ME. I must name them all my favourite names! AHH.
Type of music you dislike most? Heavy metal. Cringe.
Are you registered to vote? Dude I'm 14.
Do you have cable? Me+without cable= BORED TO SHIT.
Have you ever ridden on a moped? I don't think so.
Ever prank call anybody? OF COURSE.
Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving? Neither. HELLO FEAR OF FALLING.
Furthest place you ever traveled? England.
Do you have a garden? Yes and it's beautiful.
What's your favorite comic strip? Baby Blues, prolly. Archie <3
Do you really know all the words to your national anthem? I think so. Don't give a fuck to what it means.
Bath or Shower, morning or night? I love baths. They are so wonderfully relaxing. At night.
Best movie you've seen in the past month? Heartbreakers, an old favourite.
Favorite pizza topping? Extra cheese.
Chips or popcorn? Depends on how I feel... Usually popcorn.
What color lipstick do you usually wear? I hate lipstick. My lipgloss is usually pink of some kind.
Have you ever smoked peanut shells? WHAT THE BLOODY FUCK?!?!?!?!?! HOW DO YOU EVEN DO THAT.
Have you ever been in a beauty pageant? ... No.
Orange or Apple juice? Appa!!!!!!! WOO!!!!! HXC!!!!
Who was the last person you went out to dinner with and where did you dine? Just went out with Mom, Brother and G-pa tonight. Au Petit Salut. GOOOOOD food.
Favorite type chocolate bar? Uh... Ritter Sport cornflakes? Things with nuts. I LIKE KINDER BUENO TOO. HAHA.
Last time you ate a homegrown tomato? WTF?
Have you ever won a trophy? Of course! Oustanding speaker, spelling bee, Longman Radio competition... Uh some sports things which I didn't deserve cuz I slowed my team(s) down...
Are you a good cook? I am, actually. People don't believe that, but I am. My scrambled eggs are simply pwn. And I can make alot of other things too. I make great ice-cream. I can make cake. Uh. Soup. Stuff. Flapjacks.
Do you know how to pump your own gas? That sounds wrong, but no.
Ever order an article from an infomercial? No. Thought about it.
Sprite or 7-up? I think Sprite. It has a nicer ring to it.
Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work? If you count CIP, then sure.
Last thing you bought at a pharmacy? Ulcer gel.
Ever throw up in public? Heavens no. In school, yes.
Would you prefer being a millionaire or find true love? Sigh. True love all the way. You're rich in life, at least. You had to ask the romantic, didn'tcha.
Do you believe in love at first sight? Oui, but of course.
Ever call a 1-900 number? We don't have those. Do we?
Can exes be friends? Yeah, I guess so.
Who was the last person you visited in a hospital? My grandma.
Did you have a lot of hair when you were a baby? Tons. Jet-black ringlets/curls. Which are presently wimpy brown waves. Grr. -grumbles-
What message is on your answering machine? Nothing, the lameass machine. I'm ttly gonna get Gee to do it... If I get the guts. Which I probabyl won't. Ahhh I suck.
What's your all time favorite Saturday Night Live Character? Don't really watch it, but i love maya and samberg.
What was the name of your first pet? Meowzeth/Meowme, adorable ginger striped kitten.
What is in your purse? Phone, iPod, powder, lipgloss, lip moisturiser, a million eyedrops... oil blotters, a book. General crap.
Favorite thing to do before bedtime? Um... fantasise myself to sleep. DO NOT INFER ANYTHING FROM THIS STATEMENT.
What is one thing you are grateful for today? That I can sleep till whenever tomorrow, that I got into Stanford, that I gave the lady at Tiong Bahru money and felt really good about it, knowing Cassie =)

hello hello again.

holidays make me feel so -tostealnadia'sword- BLAHUGA.

Anyway, Marie got into Stanford... UNIVERSITY! No, okay the writing programme. AHHH funfunfunfun. I intensely hope someone I know is going. I understand my pathetic social handicap.

I'm amazed they accepted such late application.

Stoopid 987 people KEEP POSTPONING THE MEETING. DAMNIT. I'm not sure what landiao means, but it is descriptive.


Marie is boredddddd and seems to be picking up the habit of referring to myself in the third person.

If there's a first and third person, what does second person mean?


Had the Grad Day emceeing thing. It was okay, and I was so amused by council whites. HAHA. I looked so official. I felt all Malory Towers. I confess I began thinking Darrell Rivers' style, with an English accent in my head.

See how much amusement I need?

I'm craving some LJS. French toast and chicken wraps are very edible. Yum.


Enough. I should go back to sleep. It's only 8, after all.

In a wheelchair/I'm not following you/Thought I was/Didn't believe me

I know you don't owe me anything, you're not superhuman, you make mistakes too, I know you don't owe me anything/Yeah right.

Run away/Can't leave/Trapped/Memory stalking me

i know you don't owe me anything/But I don't believe myself.

Greatest fears.

Nightmares.

Rhyming thoughts.


Twas the night of Halloween
And here's a great story to be seen
One of Cassie, and MCR
Some groundbreaking melodies, drums and guitars.

A borrowed CD, another friend's room
Sitting there listening, saying "FUCK THIS SHIT'S GOOD!"
Mind-rape for months, ranting and such
Passed it on to Marie, and then it got stuck.

But now that spark has turned dull and gray
I discover I've been wasting my whole life away
I'm losing my faith in Gerard Arthur Way.

For a while, the obsession
Served for a great distraction
But then what happens
At disillusion?

I promise I mean it, but I never will
I say all the right words, but it's not how I feel.

They're falling apart
Frayed at the seams
But life's not supposed to imitate art
Especially when art's just my bad dreams.

Horrendously naive, that much is true
But some part still believes, all the way through.

So the moral of the story is
To not put your faith in just one man
Or even a five-person marching band.

I wonder if I came to the theory too late
Or if I'm just making another mistake.



I wish I could
Lay your arms down
And let you rest at last
Wish I could
Slay your demons
But now that time has passed
Wish I could stay
But I'm just standing in the way.

You know, I think Nadia is onto something. Taylor Swift has been raping my mind all day. She's an annoying whore most of the time, but her songs are so cute and romantic I have to forgive her whorishness. She should really wear less makeup though.

Ah well, Nadia has good taste.

Most of the time. >_> <_<

But really how adorable is this line "The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart" I MEAN AKJDFHKSJHFJSHF. Though I find the song Teardrops On My Guitar totally unbelievable. I mean she's so ffreakishly good-looking, as if ANY guy would want to be just friends with her, right? Unrealistic as shit.


Anyway. My mom is being fucking retarded. Today she was like "... My Chemical Romance... OMG WAIT I UNDERSTAND WHAT THE NAME MEANS!!! A ROMANCE WITH CHEMICALS! OMG YOU NEED ADULT SUPERVISION."

me: MOM. IT'S JUST A NAME AND IT'S AFTER A NOVEL, AND SECONDLY. Gerard has been clean and sober for three years and is an inspiration to us all based on how he struggled through though hard times.

mom: BULLSHIT! THAT'S LIKE SAYING KIEFER'S NOT AN ALCOHOLIC! YOU KNOW THESE ROCKSTARS...

and then she started singing this annoying as fuck little ditty that consisted of the words "My Chemical Romance" sung over and over.


Oh fuck. I just realised that my mcr meeting falls on 14th november. which is when i have to do some shitty graduation day meeting. Wish me luck trying to explain to her about that. Doctor's appointment? WHAT CAN I USE TO ESCAPE? I mean, what are the chances the timing won't conflict? Goddamnit.


I still haven't done lameass oral comm. I don't want to. Why'd I sign up for this lame shit in the first place. I'm such a shitbag.

I'm going fucking crazy btw. My mom is attempting to straighten everything in my room. And I like them crooked and tilted. It gives character, sue me.


Omg. Sass just IM'd me. God. It's been a million fucking ages, where did the time go.


YAY. I got story inspiration.


Because uniqueness is overrated anyway.

Okay, Geesus, I think my brain is trying to tell me something when I dream about Billiam four days in a row.

What its trying to tell me though, I'm not entirely sure of.

Anyhoo. Dream went like this: TAI came to Singapore. Marie was in random McThingy likened to Singapore Idol -.- Why I was there I'll never know, since I recall no singing/competition going on. TAI had concert, performed, was rad. After concert, Bill came down to the bar and sat next to me =DDD and (I actually woke up describing his outfit) was looking pretty damn good in a cranberry red V neck cashmere sweater, tight leather pants (why is he ALWAYS in leather pants) and this somewhat gay matching red scarf wound/thrown across his shoulder and around his neck.

He bought me a lemonade, and he was really nice. I remember he said something important to me, though what I can't quite remember. I do recall feeling really good about myself though, but knowing I would just be another fan =( which sucked greatly.

And then... For the big finale, TAI, random competitors and I got up on stage and sang and danced to We're All In This Together, which did not go very well considering I forgot the dance steps and knocked some people over.

I forgot the rest of the dream.


I have gotten very angry, not to mention sad. You can't be anything in this world any longer. Let's go back. I don't like it here, the Earth is trapping me. Freedom, freedom, freedom. Everyone's watching you. So be afraid to say it.

It even has to be a footnote.

I hate the holidays, I feel even more lifeless than usual.

School>Holidays with nothing to do except eat and be utterly sedentary, which leads to getting fat, feeling worthless, and losing brain cells.

All I do is write sappy shit at night, and sleep the whole day.

I need to get out more. I wish my bicycle hadn't rusted in place for five years. I actually feel like using it. I guess it's time to talk mother into getting me a new bike. I feel a hot pink/electric blue two wheelin' vehicle coming on. Nobody uses bikes anymore though. It's like my generation was the last to travel everywhere by bicycle. Most kids today can't even get on one, let alone pedal.

I'm hanging around fictionpress FAR too much. Myopia dominates me.


I'm too lazy to blog about the issues. Such as Disney going to shit, since they emply Kay Panabaker and Gioslutty Samuels. No, I'll save that for tomorrow.


On the upside, I'm working on a fantasy story. Downside, I'm, scared I won't be able to continue it, considering it's possible novel-length.

Oneshots are my friend. Oneshots are my friend. Oneshots are my friend.


Am listening to old-school AAR. Gotta love them sappy lyrics, I mean how beautiful is Your Star? Time Stands Still?

Seriously.

beckett williams = hayley williams' brothaa.

Strange. Two beckett dreams consecutively. Both involving relatively little clothes. Shia was also present, though i'm pretty much over him. Smoking and alcohol, who needs that?

Went out with Amaris, Jie Rong, and Amaris' friends, plus one totally silent hwa chong kid going by the name of Cedric. Harold backed out, that fucker. I SO WANTED TO CONFRONT HIM ABOUT THAT UWC RUMOUR. Srsly. When did ANYONE'S eyes ever witness me wearing a polo shirt? And if I got kicked out of school, why on Earth would I go to stewpid UWC to become even dumber. Okay, fine, it makes sense if you're desperate...

Anyway. Day was just a little awkward, not made any better by Jie Rong's complete lack of participation. But I met nice people. FUELED BY RAMEN-ERS! WOO! Even though Jie Rong was the one who wanted to meet people in the first place. Ah, irony. You know, I discovered I actually enjoy meeting new people, much to my surprise. It shakes things up and you don't have to deal with every monotous move from people you already know. I suppose that sounds bad. But it's true. Sometimes you just need to take a vacation from everything you know.

-EEEEEEVERYTHINGGGG WEEEEEE HADDDDD- sorry.

My ulcers hurt like fuck the whole day. Ugh. They are the worst things on the PLANET. I need to stop chewing so fast. Then I won't chomp so hard, miss my food and then KAPOW! on my lip. Grr. I can't talk properly and I eat even slower than before.

We saw Bee Movie. Predictable, but funny enough. Points for elements of bestiality. LOL.


Just finished season 3 of Buffy. And onto the next one! Wow, I need things to do.

Muttons still haven't called me about my MAGICAL MCR BRIEFING TOMORROW AT 6PM. Hmph. I may call in from desperation.


I have a sudden, intense urge to SHOP and buy bimbotic things. And clothes. Lots and lots of clothes.

I have been influenced.


I shall go watch Chicago now. =D

And maybe complete those Alice drawings I've been attempting. Nothing like fascination of your own fear.

Had one heck of a strange dream involving my birthday party, Shia, a shirtless asshole of a leather-pants wearing William Beckett, giving him a bra, getting stuck in a washing machine, having to swing around on Tarzan ropes and my grandpa.

Yeah.

THE RAD STORY OF THE RJC BOY SHALL LIVE ON FOREVER.

Aww here goes(!): Nadia was reading at borders and she then she heard Guilty Pleasure blasting out of this RJC boy's iPod and she looked up and he looked down and in that moment she decided to contract temporary insanity and took this opportunity to THROW HER FANGS UP, YO! Then he was shocked beyond belief and later when she saw him again at the counter their eyes met, and in a moment of true Cobraliciousness, HE FANGS UP-ED HER BACK! And she too was shocked/astounded/walloped with disbelief and such. And later started laughing uncontrollably.

Went out with Amaris today, man is she hyper as ever. HAHA. I'm allegedly going out with her, Jie Rong, their mutual friend(s) and HAROLD tomorrow. Whatthefuck?! As if I would ever have had the luxury of saying THAT sentence. But it'll be fun. -rubs palms together in a state of evilness-


Aha! Time for random survehh!

Perfect Partner Survey Take This Survey at Quizopolis.com How tall should they be? Tall would be good. I like tall. -looks up- What should they weigh? Doesn't matter to me. Although I seem to show a preference for freakishly skinny guys. But it really doesn't matter. What hair color should they have? I prefer brunette generally. Dark hair is sexy! =D But hey, blonde hair is pretty too. And red hair is hot as well. Just no random colours like green. What kind of personality should they have? The good/great/awesome kind? Passionate, for sure, and very intelligent and open to discuss things. Honesty is key! Older or younger? It matters not, I mostly crush on older celebs not because they're older. I'd prefer more or less my age. I DON'T MIND BEING A PAEDO FOR JIMMY BENNETT THOUGH. Serious or carefree? Both. We all know carefree is fun and serious can be just plain hot. Spontainous or hesitant? Spontaneous, but with a cautious side. Brutally honest or tight-lipped? Honest. I'd rather it not be brutal, though o_O. Beautiful or intelligent? Intelligent. Mind over looks any day. When you appreciate a person for who they are, then you can start loving the looks, despite the appearance =D. Movie or a restuarnt? Movie fsho! No awkward silences. What film actor should they most be like? Liam Aiken + Lucas Grabeel + Jimmy Bennett + Lou Taylor Pucci + Guy Ripley= RECIPE FOR PERFECTION. What singer should they most be like? Mika + Gee + Beckett + Ryland= WOW. Should they make all the money? Nah equal. Do they need to cook? Yes! I'd like to be surprised. What is their best body part? Eyes, smile and *cough* abs... >_> <_< What body part do you not care about? Feet. Desk job or physical labour? Depends on what it is, as long as it stimulates the mind. Something in between I guess. What car should they drive? Convertible! =D What one thing completely turns you off? Sweat? Insensitivity. Jealousy. Ignorance. What one thing completely turns you on? Intelligence. Confidence. Passion. (Get your mind out of the gutter.) Take This Survey at Quizopolis.com

66911987. The number of WIN.

6th November 2007.

THE DATE OF WIN.

22:48pm.

THE TIME OF WIN.

I GOT THEM PASSES AND I SOUNDED LIKE A FUCKING SPAZ ON MUTTONS TO MIDNIGHT FUCK YEAH!!! insulting they are. I SHOULD'VE RESPONDED TO THEIR DIRTY BLOWJOB JOKE. THEY PROLLY THINK I'M SOME DAMN TEENIE.

I MADE A HUGE ASS OF MYSELF. BUT I DON'T CARE.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE ENORMITY OF MEETING MCR?

GERARD WAY? <-- HE NEEDS HIS OWN PARAGRAPH!

Don't dump on my happy parade!


anyway. i'll never listen to that phone call again. I recorded it lmao.

sorry about lack of tagboard sightage.

random quizzes below, after equally random insight.


Okay I've been thinking. [DO NOT INSERT A WISECRACK.]

you see all these programmes where person A can read everyone else's thoughts. now, I don't know about the rest of the world, but i do not always think in words. They're more like flashes, sometimes words combined with images, or just random feelings. So why is it, that in all these programmes, person A only ever HEARS thoughts, without the combined flashes and such. Why limit it? Do other people, or at least the majority, think in words?

It was thought provoking.


How am I feeling today?

Bring It (SOAP)- Cobra Starship. AND OH, I AM READY FOR IT!

Will I get far in life?

Outrageous- Britney Spears. Does this mean I'mma be stalked by the pap-pap-pap-parazzi?

How do my friends see me?

More- Tamia. Are you telling me they want something more? WAIT, WHO ARE WE TALKING ABOUT???

Where will I get Married?

Tipton Is The Place To Stay- TSL Cast. OMFG HAHAHAHAHAHAHA WHAT WERE THE CHANCES? SRSLY. OKAY TRIP TO DA TIPPPP-TON!

What is my best friend's theme song?

Kiss You Off- Scissor Sisters. Okay. Now I only have to figure out who it's for. Whoever it is is gonna buy a brand new shade of man.

What is the story of my life?

Ring Ring- Mika. So either I stalk someone, or they stalk me. Probably the former. GOD THIS IS THE FUCKING STORY OF MY LIFE.

What is/was highschool like?

Top Of The World- Mandy Moore. Yeah. I guess it's KINDA true.

How is today going to be?

Scandalous- Mis-Teeq. HAHAHAHAH TODAY'S GOING TO BE SCANDALOUS? O RLYYYYYYYY LMAO.

How can I get ahead in life?

Best Friend- Aqua. I'll get ahead with my best friend. =D Who's so yummy yummy?

What is the best thing about me?

Bury Me In Black- MCR. I'm not fucking pretty on the inside? =(((

What is in store for this weekend?

Reese Campaign- Marie (as in myself). Don't even ask. So uh, reese's peanut butter cups are coming my way?

What song describes my parents?

I'm A Slave 4 U. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA wait. which way does it apply... o.O

My grandparents?

Same Blood- TAI. Well, they ARE the same blood.

How is my life going?

Show Me The Meaning Of Being Lonely- Some boy band I think. Idk it was a compilation CD. Anyway. APT. VERY APT.

How does the world see me?

Run and Tell That- Elijah Kelley. They like me cuz the blacker the berry the sweeter the juice? Ha well, I guess the deeper meaning applies too. The struggle and such to be yourself? =D

Will I have a happy life?

Getcha Head in the Game- B5. Only if?

What do my friends really think of me?

Chaotic- Britney Spears. Harsh.

Do people secretly lust after me?

Cool Rider- Michelle Pfeiffer. Sooo someone wants me to be their Cool Rider? Okay. I will not look into the sexual connotations of that statement.

How can I make myself happy?

Revolution- The Veronicas. I AM! I'MMA REVOLUTION!

What should I do with my life?

I Want Candy Dead- Geoffrey Paris. So I go kill some chick called Candy?

Will I ever have children?

start of something new. OH HOW APT. >_> <_<

What is some good advice for me?

Here I Am- Marion Raven. Uhhh. I have to let you go? Ugh. My iTunes scares me with it's prophecies.

How will I be remembered?

Night Drive- AAR. I'm going to be remembered for taking off in a car cuz someone wrecked my life? Great.

What is my signature dancing song?

yes- beyonce. truthfully i haven't even bothered to listen to this song.

What do I think my current theme song is?

Te Aviso, Te Anuncio (Tango)- Shakira. Hmm. Tango not meant for three? Jesus. I see the significance. Wow. My iTunes is fucking psychic.

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA BEAUITFUL LIAR....

What song will play at my funeral?

He's A Tramp- Peggy Lee. What the fuck? My husband will be a tramp?

What type of men/women do you like?

Mr Blue Sky- Electric Light Orchestra. LMAO LMAO LMAO I'M SO AMUSED.

What is my day going to be like?

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do- Renee Olstead & Pete Cincotti. Well that's bleak.

Why are you taking yet another shuffle quiz?
11.11pm- AAR. Because this could be the last time? LOL HAHAHA.

What's currently in your fridge?
I Heard It Through The Grapevine- Gladys Knight and the Pips. So grapes are in my fridge...

Your biggest nightmare?
When There Was Me and You- Gabriella. Well, I certainly wouldn't want to be with Gabriella. Okay but really I guess that is sort of true. I mean disillusionment with someone you love. Fuck. Especially when everyone else could tell.

What place would you like to visit?
PoP Goes My Heart- PoP! Urrrhhhhhh okay. I can't deny. I would like to visit this place where my heart goes pop. =)

A reason to commit suicide?
Walking On Sunshine- Aly and AJ. Do I detect irony?

Why are we here?
If U Come To Me- Atomic Kitten. We're here to help each other see, be strong and to love? WELL THAT'S JUST BEAUTIFUL. STOP IT!!!

Something you never dared to say to anyone...?
Born To Make You Happy- Britney Spears. That is remarkably true. I shan't go into detail. I care more than most know.

One thing the world really doesn't need?
Seed- TAI. God, so fitting. The world really doesn't need this kind of person. I DON'T NEED THIS KIND OF PERSON ANYMORE EITHER. Ugh. How do we do it? I want it so desperately to be real. I'm always letting you in.

What's your biggest unfulfilled wish?
Colors Of The Wind- Vanessa Williams. True, dat.

If you could invent something, what would it be?
Big Girl (You Are Beautiful)- Mika. I guess I would like to bring Big back! =D

The last thing you say before you die?
Greatest Time Of Year- Aly and AJ. It's great when I die? Thanks.

What's your destiny?
Love -Destiny's Child. WOOOOOOOOOO!

What do you do when you're alone in an elevator?
Relax, Take It Easy- Mika. HAHAHAHA.

Why do people go fishing?

Born To Be Dizzy- The Starlite Desperation. They fish to scream?

What would you do with your slaves?
Everything's Just Wonderful- Lily Allen. Uh well I would treat them well? 

Is there a man on the moon?



How does hell look like?
Stand Out- Tevin Campbell. It certainly DOES stand out.

About what would you like to write a book?
Dance Inside- AAR. HA I'm going to write a book about sex?... Wouldn't surprise people.

The best thing ever is...?
TSL (Cody Wake Up Call)- Cole Sprouse. HOLY SHIT I REMEMBER THIS!!! It WAS the best thing ever. God I loved him haha.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Message From A Nightingale- The Drowsy Chaperone Cast. HAHAHA IT GOT A MESSAGE FROM A FELLOW BIRDBRAIN?

Why do you listen to music?
Guy Ripley- Marie. WHATTHEFUCK!!!!!! I LISTEN TO MUSIC FOR MY RAD IMPRESSION OF GUY RIPLEY? HAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA LMAO. I listen for delicious victoria? O_O

What do you do when you're alone and nobody's watching?

You're My Number One- S Club 7. Uhhhhhh. I did used to dance to s club when no one was around... but I don't do that anymore... >_> <_<

Why are other people so stupid?
Empty- TC5. True.

Last thing you ate?
Tits On The Radio- Scissor Sisters. OH HELL NAW. SHUDDER. HAHA PORN!

Why is grass green?
You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison- MCR. Because you know? and then you puked and it turned the grass green?

Your phone is ringing, but who's on the other end?
Lady Marmalade- Various Artists. HAHAHA I GOT A PROSTITUTE ON THE LINE, HOLLA!

What should you stop doing?
Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too- Say Anything. I DO NOT TOUCH MYSELF! WTF! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA. Don't anybody dare say O rly.

A word of advice to the readers of this quiz?
Leave (Get Out)- JoJo. HAHAHA yes. Leave. Get out. Go on. Scram.


Loves ya!

SHARON GOT PASSES.

WHICH MEANS I GOT PASSES.

(hopefully anyway. I don't wanna jinx it.)

AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.

IT STILL HASN'T SUNK IN.


BUT OH, I AM READY FOR IT.


LIFE IS WORTH LIVING AGAIN.

^ Hot stuff! VIVA LA CASSIE! HAAAAHAHA. (Wtf is wrong with my face? IT LOOKS SO GODDAMN ROUND! P.S. Cassie is so photogenic! WHY AVOID THE CAMERA! WHY!)
WOO! (Sorry you basically can't see my goddamn cbawkx. To tag, just click the little um, multiple sheets of paper next to the speech bubble where my tagbox should be [NEXT TO ALL THESE WORDS RIGHT HERE]. Taaaag! WOO!)





I never met anyone so afraid of a camera.



Sharon and Monkey. SEE, THEY HAPPILY POSED! I really like this picture. =D


Radcore day. Embarrassing, but radcore. I'm sorry I'm quiet and for staring. HAHA. Shan is fucking stewpid. Cassie and monkey raped my hair. HA. I poked Cassie's cheek twice. and her stomach. though that skinny whore has nothing to poke there. Cassie and Monkey mauled me and Sharon's faces. I felt like her Expressit project.

FUCK I'M NERVOUS!!!!


Halloween was rad too! Justine ahem, hugged me throughout the night. Xinyi had the best costume! HAHA!



^ Group shot for Halloween!


P.S. Nadia is rad. IT'S THE CATMAN! BICYCLE HIT-AND-RUN!

P.P.S. I seem to have a sudden fascination with the word rad, wtf. I don't know. I use it to describe everything. Forgive me lack of vocab.