Got to have faith in myself but so hard because I am second best at everything. Have so many accolades but none of them truly impressive or showing a proper mastery of a craft/area. So easily overwhelmed by panic to the point where it is my fault. So difficult not to believe that I am inherently worthless as a person and that everyone I love doesn't deserve better I am so so tired of this and that and everything that hits me and envelopes me where I cry in small spaces

guess once again I'm just functioning and there is no swan in my movement or lyric in my words wish things would stop being my fault stop

Going to be 18. Been on this earth so much longer than that; yet am still a child of the earth, of learning and of growing. Understanding the purpose of my life and not stressing about it. Having confidence in myself to achieve whatever. Feeling connected to the universe. Loving people with everything I have.