HEE HEE HEE GOD I'M BEING SUCH A GIRL RIGHT NOW HEE HEE HEE.

I'M HEEHEEING RN CAN YOU TELL.

yeah ok.

When I Fall In Love is such a beautiful song. Learning Manhattan on the piano. I will conquer this shit, bitches!

Stole some j buckley and the first joel. Lalalalala.

My brother is off to Ireland.

My god I need to get over this late night 4am I'm going to blog cryptically while lurking facebook thing.

Just did a mini room cleanup. Just the desk though because the rest of the room is still reeling from the effects of my epic Monk-like cleaning spree a couple weeks back.

So Christmas is like, over. It actually feels like it didn't happen, the only evidence being my horrifically bloated stomach which came about due to watch an entire series of The Unit in one day and eating turkey and mashed potatoes drowned in gravy like every four hours. They fucking killed Hector wtf iled him.

Still have the series finale of Pushing Daisies to tackle. I think I'm subconsciously saving it for a day when I'm incredibly depressed.

So bbc and bbg need to come over and deflower this gossip girl tv verz virgin. Cuz I now haz series. Tbh I just don't like liking things when everyone else does. Yes I'm stupid that way. It's incredibly Gair of me. O I also have Another Cinderella Story and Ballet Shooz with Emma Watson who needs to die just because of the fuqery that is her perfection. But cashie does not rly want to watch Selena but if she can handle twilight GIRL CAN DO ANYTHING. Though she will probably not be able to handle the Duffathon. It's on.

I HAVE TWO NEW ZITS ON MY FACE AND I WANT THEM TO GO THE FUCK AWAY.

Ladeeda dang. I will not hgb myself to sleep. No. No she says as she unravels her ipod earphones.


Thoughts of new year's continuously lurk in my mind.

God I have some kind of disease where all i do is reread my chat transcripts and lurk facebook even though I know nothing has changed in the past ten fucking minutes.

Yeah it's 4.41am. I know that. On Christmas Eve. Yet here I sit singing to Here In Your Arms and being totally stupid because I know I'm going to pay for this in the morning when I have to wrap presents.

Drop it like it's hot just came on shuffle. Gawd why am I suddenly reviving all my p5 jams.


Merry Christmas and a happy New Year.

I enjoy going to smugopedia. If only people would post there more often.

Love
Socrates' speech on love in the Symposium--arguing that love is merely a longing for immortality and ideas are immortal--is just a conceit of the intellectual. I prefer Aristophanes' speech, imagining a world in which humans were once four-armed, four-legged, and two-headed balls who tumbled around doing cartwheels, each one split in two and yearning to find their other half.

For god's sake how beautiful is that.


I finally went on that month overdue run. And did crunches like a bitch. I have also finally completed my christmas shopping although everyone should know that i bought absolutely NO presents for any friends. Ya. There is nothing worth buying ok. Except that I saw the almost-perfect thing for bbc but had no fucking money. I'm making her cupcakes anyway. And giving greg cake because he is easy to please like that. omg no winking. Anyway baq to the presents. I found my grandpa some obscure azn books and discovered the store to be a veritable goldmine of cap bewks. I FOUND THIS ~*VINTAGE*~ eye on the world from motherfucking 1999. And all my mentor's books. And many other mentor's books. ... Ya I can't believe I almost purchased azn literature for myself. I was going to buy jeffrey's books but i was money-less.

Circus rapes mind.

I have a shitload of gift wrapping to do. Ok. List to myself.

1) Wrap presents

2) At least start on your motherfucking chem homework, oh my god

3) Label new file

4) Omg purchase your fucking schoolbooks sometime this century

5) MAKE EZ-LINK CARD YESTERDAY

6) Start srs bsns reading again

7) Email Ms Lim with anthology piece

8) Arvon write-up for straits times

9) GET THE HISTORY TOPICS FROM SOMEONE?!

10) Start on pondering journal.


I have yet to pick out what I'm going to wear for Christmas. Only plaid skirt is confirmed. And red tights. And shooz.

I think I haz new year's down at least. lmao il how unorganised we are.


Sometimes I find my heartbeat quickening with unnecessary anticipation for things that might very well be anticlimactic. I should just not expect anything. That's what I'm telling myself.


I'm off to make something like the second log cake. Pray that it works out.

we could be made for this wait and see.

I am srs bsns missing some people rn. hellogoodbye constantly playing in my head not helping the situation and making me feel giddy and schoolgirly and feeling like ice-skating.

I realise that life gives me a lot to think about, and I don't nearly think about things enough. Likely I think more than the average person emerging from the hallowed halls of our lovely little convent, but let's follow my own standards. I need to read more. And have like a thinking journal of things to ponder. I used to be a ponderer. Now I'm just the lame leaf in the lame stream floating along lamely. There are could-be's and what-if's and hows and whys and motives and agendas and reactions and plans and goals and acceptance and striving. Then there's reasons for throwing away the granulated sugar for the log cake, or laughing hysterically at 1am, watching egg beaters.

Now I wonder how I ever ran out of material. There are lots of lessons to be learned from egg beaters.

I bought new jeans and they fit beautifully. I shall wear them on new year's.

Boats and Birds is a beautiful song. I'm a sucker for any mention of stars.

Sh sh sha.

WOW I JUST HAD THE BIGGEST LULZ OF MY LIFE.

“Are you kidding? You think we’re in some movies or some Low Kay Hwa’s stupid melodramatic novels?”
“Are you kidding? You think we’re in some movies or some Low Kay Hwa’s stupid melodramatic novels?”
“Are you kidding? You think we’re in some movies or some Low Kay Hwa’s stupid melodramatic novels?”
“Are you kidding? You think we’re in some movies or some Low Kay Hwa’s stupid melodramatic novels?”
“Are you kidding? You think we’re in some movies or some Low Kay Hwa’s stupid melodramatic novels?”
“Are you kidding? You think we’re in some movies or some Low Kay Hwa’s stupid melodramatic novels?”
“Are you kidding? You think we’re in some movies or some Low Kay Hwa’s stupid melodramatic novels?”
“Are you kidding? You think we’re in some movies or some Low Kay Hwa’s stupid melodramatic novels?”
“Are you kidding? You think we’re in some movies or some Low Kay Hwa’s stupid melodramatic novels?”
“Are you kidding? You think we’re in some movies or some Low Kay Hwa’s stupid melodramatic novels?”
“Are you kidding? You think we’re in some movies or some Low Kay Hwa’s stupid melodramatic novels?”


God it is like reverse crack but still addictive.

Douchecancer. U HAZ IT.


O WAIT. OIC.

“Hey, movies and novels reflect real life. Trust me on that, dude.”

o i c.

ryan ross just died because he cannot evar top this kind of profundity.

so I'm feeling pretty goddamn fierce right now. Lily still influencing me.

today I went to the dentist to get my mouth abused. but it gave me an excuse to wear tights. hurhur. with my woolly skirt. yay.

I RLY RLY RLY MISS SOME PEOPLE WHO ARE AWAY.

Mhm.

fuck i abuse the 'enter' bar don't i. but my thoughts are broken up as such. so I suppose it's all right.

I ttly got recognised at tuition today. The look of disbelief from people who knew me way back when still makes me feel good. Shamelessly.

So. My... Idk the word right now. Qualm? for the day would be people who find significant others every five seconds. Idgi. Is there like a secret club? Do they all just pop out of the woodwork when you want them to? Of course things can happen when you least expect them to, but i still dgi. Maybe they make them up. LIKE JOANNA MADE UP LANDY. RITE. Gosh that book is already teaching me life lessons. I'm ttly on another one right now. Me and fo fadia need to read the rest kthx.

i ate many nitrates in the form of hot dogs today. omg it was one time.

I HAVE NOT PURCHASED A SINGLE CHRISTMAS PRESENT FOR ANYBODY AT ALL. AT FUCKING ALL. I'm ded.

omg where did november go. bitches, where!

NEED TO FINISH WATCHING AUDITION PLS. NAO.

Definitely plan on conquering me some fucking guinea pig filmz. VIDEO NASTY BBS.


note to self: pls write something. ty.

the creature known as nadia forces me to update.

meanwhile, I wait patiently for my bbcass to be comforted by milo. the drink. yes. just clarifying. till then I shall continue my foray into Shakespeare and talk to people.

I want to finish watching audition ok. I AM NOT GOING TO CHICKEN OUT. The first part of the movie was srs bsns lulz so far but me and bbc both know it is going to FUQ US UP l8er.

today was extremely uneventful, save for my marked decision to stop being a procrastinator. yes. I am just going to stop. ergo I cleaned my room + house like a psycho bitch and then proceeded to Midsummer it. But srsly though. CLEANING MAKES ME FEEL V ACCOMPLISHED. Because deep down I am still the seven year old who came straight home and finished all her homework by 4 o'clock and had a personal timetable that she made herself.

hmm the fear rapes my mind, is bbg's fault. SO MUCH OF THE FIERCENESS LILY.

I just want to use your love tonight. 12:14:16 AM
shriek away bb

See if he got koolaid! 12:14:33 AM
WITHOUT A SOUND

DUCWIDT

O yes bbc. OICWYDT.


i do not look like beyonce. GTFO NO.

Did much roaming around the foreign entity known as Suntec with Sam and Pierre before he leaves for France for 19 days.

Bolt was watched. Survived the weirdness that be 3-D. Forced Sam to decide where we would eat [meaning me and Pierre, not Sam at all] through such nefarious means as scissors paper stone.

Sam does not understand the concept of awkwardness.

Made several dirty jokes that basically went right over little gangster Sam's head.

Thank you Pierre, for leading my mind to the image of Santa being distilled in a chem lab. Because we all know that Christmas Coffee = Essence of Santa.

More roaming.

Me and Pierre making a futile attempt to find Jeremy Sheldon's book. Then giving up on that and concentrating on things that could relate to his life instead.

Then there was leaving and hugging at train stations and smiling on the train after.

It was a good day. I'll miss them.


Alleged plans for New Year's that involve escaping my family and staying out all night simply to roam. I need this to happen.


So there is just something in the water lately. Attention is a weird thing to get after 15 years.

Surreal. Maybe it's my sudden working of teh skirtz. I totally wore my plaid one today hell yeah. Ngl felt qt/fierce. Dnw jeans anymore. Except for tomorrow because it is my Stalker Wednesday with my very own fo fadia and we need jeans to blend into borders. Yes. I declare it to be so.


RARH GODDAMN SO CONFUSED I DON'T KNOW. I really don't think it's in my head. Yeah it was all fuq u then but now I'm confused again.

THANK YOU GOD FOR THE BEST FUCKING AWKWARD TURTLE MOMENT I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED.

UM CANNOT BELIEVE EYES.



IS DED.

so i finished dirty sexy money in like two days. fuck. well it did have only like ten episodes. fuck.

well i started on chuck and damn y so fine. Y. Y. Y.

omg between Josh, Lee, and Mr Levi there I HAVE NO HORMONES LEFT. NONE. it doesn't help that chuck ttly reminds me of my piemaker bb. I refrained from making a dirty "he can make my pie anytime" joke. the vatican does not approve.

anyway my habit of randomly searching keywords and clicking on blogs has resulted in my discovery of this college boy in chicago who sounds altogether far too much like me for my own comfort, although it does give me comfort knowing that someone halfway across the world is sharing my brainwaves. He stopped his blog in like 2006 though. God maybe he died or something. I'll never know. Both blogs stop at 2006. I miss him. I wish he would post and tell me he forgot about his blogs because he's too damn happy to give a fuck about blogging. Because he doesn't need it anymore. I wish he would. Because I still need his blogging.

I'm having far too much of a Holden Caulfield moment year. I feel like everyone around me is a big fucking phony. They either don't really care about me because studies are far more important, or write because it makes them feel self-important, or just have better things to do in general. I resent these people, because I wish I were just like them.

All their writing sounds the same. I may have lost my passion for it, either that or it's meandering somewhere between pretentious second-person oneshots oh I'm sorry, short stories and the descriptions of some place which has nothing to do with anything, because it's not a place that matters, but what goes on in the place. A place has nothing if you dedicate two lines to a character, and then proceed to wax lyrical about the still twilight.

FUCK THIS.

Goddamn.

I can get through this week I can get through this week I CAN GET THROUGH THIS WEEK.

Everybody's too busy giving a fuck about themselves.

Well too bad for me, giving a fuck about just about everything.